Even though I have family and friends in my circle there are occassions that I still feel lonely.
My husband is wonderful and he is my best friend.
But I need a girl best friend.
You see, I used to be a really wild teenager and up to this day I still love a little bit of crazy.
But all my friends and sisters are straight arrows that I can't even begin to tell them what I really think sometimes.
I just want a friend who I can speak openly with and won't judge me, wears the same dress size so we can share clothes, loves the same kind of music, go to concerts with, likes to shop, interested in hair and make up, art, fashion and food. I also need someone who will go to the gym with me and help me stay on track when it comes to emotional eating. But I need someone who likes to push the envelope a bit too. Even though I like to push the envelope I still like to keep it in the boundaries of christianity. I used to have a best friend who fit the bill but over the years we grew apart. We became different people. I became a mom. She became a career woman. I started leaning towards the conservative side and she became liberal. It was weird because growing up I was more liberal and she was conservative and actually owned a gun. I miss her sometimes. I think she misses me. But I think we miss the idea of each other. Last time we were together it was tough to have a conversation; lot's of awkward silent moments. We were no longer flowing into each other. I miss that unity. There was a feeling of security in that relationship.
My current friends are from church and we do not have many things in common. They may have a drink or two but not enough to get tipsy. They don't enjoy the same music and aren't interested in going to concerts. There was one lady I started to feel more comfortable and found out we shared the same views but her husband got a better job so they moved to Florida.
I have a friend who likes to be a little crazy and we have fun talking, but she is not interested in the shopping, clothes, home decor, art and we do not like the same music.
I have a friend who is interested in fashion and make up, but is usually very spiritual and we can't be crazy together.
Maybe this is a part of growing old. No one really has time for each other. We all have our own spouses, kids, and households to run. Maybe I have unwittingly been influenced by TV shows like "Friends" and "Happy Endings". These shows make me think I am missing out on something and that everyone except for me and my husband are hanging out immersed in each others livess. Maybe I am being melancholy and miss my teen years when I did hang out with people every weekend and the laughs were endless. Maybe I should just be content with what I have because it is really good. I have my sisters and Lord knows that they know all kinds of bad stuff about me. They have also dealt with a bunch of crap I say out loud. Maybe what I'm looking for is already in my life but I'm just not being appreciative. My sisters and friends don't have to like the same music and or have exactly the same interests, but they offer me something more solid...a trusting relationship and reliability in the tough times.
But still...I want a crazy girl friend to hang out with.
My husband is wonderful and he is my best friend.
But I need a girl best friend.
You see, I used to be a really wild teenager and up to this day I still love a little bit of crazy.
But all my friends and sisters are straight arrows that I can't even begin to tell them what I really think sometimes.
I just want a friend who I can speak openly with and won't judge me, wears the same dress size so we can share clothes, loves the same kind of music, go to concerts with, likes to shop, interested in hair and make up, art, fashion and food. I also need someone who will go to the gym with me and help me stay on track when it comes to emotional eating. But I need someone who likes to push the envelope a bit too. Even though I like to push the envelope I still like to keep it in the boundaries of christianity. I used to have a best friend who fit the bill but over the years we grew apart. We became different people. I became a mom. She became a career woman. I started leaning towards the conservative side and she became liberal. It was weird because growing up I was more liberal and she was conservative and actually owned a gun. I miss her sometimes. I think she misses me. But I think we miss the idea of each other. Last time we were together it was tough to have a conversation; lot's of awkward silent moments. We were no longer flowing into each other. I miss that unity. There was a feeling of security in that relationship.
My current friends are from church and we do not have many things in common. They may have a drink or two but not enough to get tipsy. They don't enjoy the same music and aren't interested in going to concerts. There was one lady I started to feel more comfortable and found out we shared the same views but her husband got a better job so they moved to Florida.
I have a friend who likes to be a little crazy and we have fun talking, but she is not interested in the shopping, clothes, home decor, art and we do not like the same music.
I have a friend who is interested in fashion and make up, but is usually very spiritual and we can't be crazy together.
Maybe this is a part of growing old. No one really has time for each other. We all have our own spouses, kids, and households to run. Maybe I have unwittingly been influenced by TV shows like "Friends" and "Happy Endings". These shows make me think I am missing out on something and that everyone except for me and my husband are hanging out immersed in each others livess. Maybe I am being melancholy and miss my teen years when I did hang out with people every weekend and the laughs were endless. Maybe I should just be content with what I have because it is really good. I have my sisters and Lord knows that they know all kinds of bad stuff about me. They have also dealt with a bunch of crap I say out loud. Maybe what I'm looking for is already in my life but I'm just not being appreciative. My sisters and friends don't have to like the same music and or have exactly the same interests, but they offer me something more solid...a trusting relationship and reliability in the tough times.
But still...I want a crazy girl friend to hang out with.
